You REALLY Piss Me Off
by WolverinesDarlin
Summary: Rated M for Mature... haha no but seriously, for some heavy language and suggestive humor. Cally and I did it again. Thought of something funny and random. NOT a slash. Oneshot. Miranda and Jack fight, Shepard interfers. What started the fight? O.o


Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect!

This is really funny. It is not a slash, it's just some fighting. I am normally nothing but FemShep and Garrus but Cally Starkiller and I got to thinking again and we came up with THIS. Enjoy! Oneshot.

Masseffect

"So Cheerleader." Jack started, playing with one of the things on Miranda's desk as Miranda collected holo's from another desk in her bedroom area. "Did Timmy Boy decide just to abduct kids and fucking experiemnt on them? Or was that YOUR idea?"

"Shut up Jack."

"Make me." Jack challenged.

Miranda sighed. "I don't have time for your games Jack. I don't have to… I have work to be doing." She sat down at her desk in front of her computer and started to type.

Jack laughed darkly, "You think you're all that don't ya Cheerleader."

"Well I am genetically modifed, so yes." Miranda brags.

"Well so am I." Jack shot back. Miranda seemed to be at a loss for words. "Only I'm modified to kick your sorry "perfect" little ass." Jack smiled, believeing she had won.

"Well I'm modified to have a bigger chest than you!" She pointed out, as if it matter who had bigger breasts.

"Well it's good to know you'll be distracting the ememies with yoru breasts." She laughed.

"I can actually, those mercs never knew what hit them."

Jack bursted out laughing, Miranda obviously not getting the innuendo.

"I'll blow them away while you flash 'em. We'll see how your Illusive Man likes THAT." Jack laughed again as Miranda's eyes widened largy than the salarians and she gasped.

"My 'breasts' are NOT for that purpose!"

"The fuck they aren't Princess. What ARE they for? Wooing Shepard?"

"Shepard is a WOMEN Jack. I'm pretty sure she is into men as well."

"Well I would never be able to tell. That cockiness of yours makes it hard to tell who or what you'd be interested in."

"What or who? You're out of line Subject Zero. Don't make me call the Commander down here." She warned.

"Whatever. She likes me better anyways." Jack shrugged.

"I can hardly see her interacting with you. She's my Commander and I'm her second-command. So we're naturally closer. I bet you just want to screw with her don't you? I've read your files, and overhead conversations. Men and women are the same to you."

"Fuck you!" Jack shouted, her biotics flaring.

"Oh I bet you would. What with my feminine figure? Unlike yours. You look like a man, smell like a man, and your name… Jack." She scoffs. "Use of biotics on the ship is against protocal." She informed "offically".

"Protocal my ass! For all I care you and The Illusive Man can go SHOVE IT!"

"Is that the best you can do, Jack?" Making her name sound like an insult rather than a name.

Jack listed a chair with her biotics and threw it at the woman. "I took on the name because it was the first name I thought of! All I knew was "Subject Zero" thanks to your precious Cerberus!"

"Cerberus had no jurisdiction there! Whatever happened there wasn't our fault! They obviously went rogue!" Miranda defended.

"You are all a bunch of FUCKING liars! It was still Cerberus! And what Cerberus was WRONG!" She shouted. "Even if they had gone rogue you should have known, you could have stopped it if you really weren't apart of it. Made it end before it got out of hand! It's STILL your fault!"

"My fault? I am not all of Cereberus. If I was aware, I would've done something about it. Besides, its not my problem so either way...not my fault."

"The HELL you would have!"

"Oh well, I guess we'll never know now will we?" Miranda shrugged arrogantly and started to type again.

"The Illusive man will be peeling you off the wall and floor by the time I'm finished with your insenitve ASS!"

"Again with the ass," Miranda sighed. "And it would be the Illusive Man picking me up off the floor, Jack." Spitting the word out like a curse once again, "But Rupert, get your facts straight."

"I swear Cheerleader. If you DARE insult my intellagence…" Started menacingly.

"You have intellagence?" Miranda laughed.

Jack pointed her finger at her menacingly and Miranda laughed at her behavior.

"Put that finger away Jack. Or you'll find that Rupert will be picking you off the floor not me." She smiled "sweetly"

Jack squinted her eyes. Not sure what to say, yet fuming that she was losing the verbal battle to the "princess".

"That's what I thought. Now if you'll excuse me." Miranda looked back to her computer screen.

"Screw you!" Jack once again throws a chair, aiming for Miranda, but misses as the woman dodges from its way. Miranda comes back around the desk and faces Jack head on.

At the moment Shepard came barging in.

"What the HELL is going on in here?"

"Cheerleader here won't admit that what Cerberus did to me was wrong." She pointed an accusing finger at the said woman.

"It wasn't Cerberus. Not really. But CLEARLY you were a mistake." Miranda scoffs.

"Screw you!" Jack repeats, once again pointing a threatening finger at her.

"Our mission is damn important right now to let these feelings in the fucking way tired after a…" Shepard trails off, clearly tired from her last loyalty mission with Miranda and he sister.

The two both wait rather patiently to continue, both waiting for her to side with them.

"You both know what we're up against. save your goddamn anger for the the Reapers!" Shepard sighs, "I'm too tired for this prissy shit."

"This "prissy shit" is all Princess over here. I was just asking her a question and she got all whatever on me!"

Miranda scoffs and mumbles whatever. "I can put aside our differences...until the mission is over."

Jack mumbles something about bull shit and damn princess "Fine."

Sheaprd holds out arm before Jack runs out, but of course, walks away anyways. Sighs deeply, "You two going to be...okay?"

Shepard rubs her eyes delicately with the back of her hand.

"It's a good thing you came by when you did. As long as she does her job, things will be fine."

Shepard nodded. "Good. Just make sure you keep that ass of yours in line." Shepard turnedd around and smiled secretly.

Miranda watched Shepard leave her room/office and waited until after the door closed to break her stare and walk to her mirror.

Miranda stood with her back facing the mirror and looked over her shoulder to her rear. She stared at it for a while before thinking aloud.

"Is my ass really that big?"

MassEffect

Woo hoo! That was fun huh? Reviews are greatly apprieciated.

Thanks again Cally. I dedicate this all to you!


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